Accept Me As I Am
by StarfallGalaxy
Summary: When Lucius Membrane saw the Look in others' eyes he felt so tired.


When Lucius Membrane saw the Look in others' eyes he felt so tired.

To be honest, he had started to dread going outside due to the constant barrages of questions that everyone from his college friend circle had or the Look of Betrayal he saw in Asha's sightless, powder blue eyes. He couldn't even muster up the excuse to apologize or to answer or even put on that stupid labcoat that he had shared with her. It still smelt like her, just like his bed or the perfume she used that was still half empty in her cabinet's bottom drawer. He couldn't stand to look at the place where her pillow fort used to be in the clean corner of the lab, couldn't stand at all, really. The house creaked and groaned, the sounds the only confirmation that he was still there.

His eyes were glazed over as he sat in the same chair as usual, a steaming cup of tea (which he hated) across from him, waiting for the woman that would never come again. His head rested in the pretzel his arms made, their robotic parts making subtle noises when he pressed his face to the wood of the table. He was alone, locked away in his house and speaking to no one…

"Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

Okay, there was one person. And he had never even held him in his arms yet.

Lucius's head picked up in a blind state of panic, the table jolting as he got up too fast for his blood's liking. He stumbled up the stairs as if in a drunken state, only stopping his rush when he fell into his child's room at the end of the hall. The baby still had yet to stop crying.

And he still had yet to invent a nursery bot.

Asha had been the one to pick up the crying infant after he had found Erin, the tiny child clutched in her protective embrace even as she passed away. He had not held nor even touched the boy since. Dwicky, the youngest of his friends and the least likely candidate to do so, had brought over the crib as a gift in an attempt to smooth things over but it still hadn't worked. He still did not touch the boy, Dwicky having to do the work.

Now it seemed to have come back to bite him in the proverbial ass, however, as the child that had been quiet for four days without issue suddenly demanded something from him. Where was Layla? She had been the one to barge into the house these past days, snuffing out her cigarette at the door before heading up to feed the baby, her orange hair flowing in nonexistent wind. Layla was always an odd one…

Lucius dashed to the hallway, grabbing the landline there to dial Layla's number.

Ring, ring, click!

"Hello?" The sleepy mumble heard in the phone was definitely her.

"Layla! Where are you?!"

"Sorry, Luci, m' work got piled up. Ah can't come today, they need me here at m' job, ya know? Shouldn't ya'll know how to feed 'im by now? I mean, I only come once a day for lunch an'... "

"Wait, babies are supposed to eat more than that?"

"... Lucius Alvis Membrane!"

Lucius winced at the volume of Layla's voice, it almost drowning out his child's cries in sheer pitch.

"I've been busy!"

"Busy mopin'! Look, Erin dyin' hurt all of us an' I know you never got to tell 'er goodbye or that ya loved 'er but right now you gotta get your shit together 'n' take care of ya son! Cause he needs you now more than ever growin' up without a Mama! An' I should know!" With every word, Lucius felt her fingernails poke him in the chest even if she wasn't physically in the room. "Now get off of ya sorry behind, grab a baby bottle, warm it up an' FEED the poor thing!"

Click.

… He seemed to lose more friends this way.

He hung up the phone, the baby's crying not lessing by any stretch of the imagination. He trooped inside the room once more, watching his son's cute little face for a moment. He was startled at how much the boy looked like him, from the soft brown skin to the black fuzz that covered his head. Not even a bit of Erin shone through, making Lucius's heart ache just a bit more.

Most of all, Lucius noticed for the first time just how small his child was.

The baby was about the size of a water bottle, extremely small for a child almost a week old. Lucius wasn't biologist, but he knew almost instinctively that the baby hadn't been eating enough. Guilt hit him like a ton of bricks, urging him forward to at least try and communicate an apology to this tiny being. Carefully, he leaned over the crib to give the baby his synthetic finger, running it gently against the child's cheek.

"Hello there, my boy-child."

He jerked when the baby sucked it into his mouth, choking on it a little. Lucius quickly but carefully extracted his finger from the baby's mouth.

"That is not your bottle," Lucius huffed, the baby reaching out for his hand again. "At least you stopped crying…"

As if he knew what he was saying, the little one turned his attention to the drawers that held a baby bottle and a heater on top, the powder for the baby formula all ready and set to go. The scientist got up to drop some of the white dust into the bottle, looking at the baby as if to ask him if he was doing any of this correctly.

"We need water...right?" Lucius picked up the bottle, venturing downstairs to the sink.

The tea was still steaming where he left it, spilt and with the cup on its side, rolling slightly from side to side. The professor stopped in the doorway, freezing in his tracks as he saw the wisps of steam travel gently in the air. The small puddle of tea dripped down the table cloth, splattering on the floor. Lucius's eyes fell half lidded, tears pricking at the corners of them.

He could feel the weight of his goggles pushing his hair up out of his eyes, as he removed them to wipe at the offending liquid. He steeled himself to walk past the accident, fetching water for the bottle and stealing one last glance at the tea.

He didn't clean it up.

As he walked in with the now-full bottle, he saw his son tilt his head at his father's sniffling sounds, outstretching his little arms. Lucius leaned down again, his eyes still stinging slightly.

"Yes? What is-"

Lucius made a soft choking sound when his boy placed his tiny hand on his face. It was similar to the way that the child's mother used to do it, the boy's eyes partway open to reveal the same brown irises as Daddy but there was a glint there. Something like Erin's eyes shone in there… The professor lifted himself from the crib, putting the bottle on the heater with a slight cough, trying to tell himself not to get too attached. He'd already loved and lost and while others would say it was better than to have never loved at all, his broken heart would beg to differ.

As soon as the bottle was warm enough (he thought), he gave it to the little boy, trying not to think that the two of them had touched each other for the first time today. The boy looked at him in confusion as the rubber nipple was put into his mouth but then ripped away by gravity. Lucius blinked. Why wasn't the child holding onto…

Oh, right.

He would have to hold the baby, right? That's what good parents did, right? He winced as the angry, Southern voice came back to flood his ears with it's scoldings.

"Right...now don't wiggle around, little one," Membrane carefully picked up his little boy in his arms, wincing at the idea that his synthetic hands could probably crush the tiny thing. "Please don't drop him, please don't drop him, please don't-"

The boy sneezed, his eyes blinking open completely for the first time for Membrane. Suddenly, they were no longer brown, but gold like Erin's. Lucius gaped at the baby's eyes, his own sparkling in wonder at the new discovery he had found inside of his heart.

He loved his little boy.

Tears sprang to his eyes as his little boy reached for the bottle, Lucius handing it to him and keeping it in his mouth, all the while watching with wide eyes at this little thing that was breathing and depending on him for survival. The baby didn't even seem to care that he was being cradled in cold pieces of metal. He just snuggled down, his mouth wrapped around the rubber nipple of the bottle. His tiny hand rested against the sides, Membrane's fingers clutching it in a soft grip.

Lucius rested his forehead against his infant son's, smiling when the baby made a soft cooing noise, "It's okay, little one. Daddy's here."


End file.
